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Friday, July 10, 2015

My Journey With The Perspectives From 2013-2015

I am a Gemini,born on 15th June and as I am supposed to be,I am quiet,introverted than other people,shy in nature yet bold about many things people think for 15 times before saying a word about it.Geminis born on 15th,as it is said,have one problem.That they do not have any problem with any subject stream,success is supposed to come in every stream and thus it becomes very hard to decide on exactly what to go with,owing to the huge number of interests they have.And I have faced this problem quite intensely this year,when I had to choose what I wanted to go with.
I do agree I am spirited and I usually do not give up or give in and am not a pessimist but life has never been a bed of red roses for me.It has been hard,harder and bothersome but I still love it and want to have my share of the great ride.
So,let me begin my (slightly concealed) story from 2013.This is the year when I started getting truly serious about academics and Thank God that I was blessed with such thoughts at the right time.I had always been a very quiet person but I paid attention to random things and often a culmination of nothing at all,owing to my immaturity and lack of proper guidance and a devilish free nature until then.


I began to get drawn to Maths and Physics,which are raved (and with some good reason) to be the toughest subjects in high school.I do not think I consciously judged anything,I just fell in love with the subjects like that.And at least one year and two months have been a hell of a fight for me.Since this is a very personal story,I would not like the readers here to know about this but I can promise it was bitter and one of the most terrible experiences I have ever had in my life.In fact,I would not know the world needs delusion as so immediate a solution if I did not have to go through so terrible an experience.
My love for Maths is and always has been very extreme.I do not know how much capability I have but I love the subject so much,I stay consumed almost all day!
I started growing passionate about Economics in Class X itself,partially because it had calculations,which I am attracted to and then it has got a lot of logic,a lot of history,political science,science and human relations.I totally love doing this.And I would never have had the guts to go with what I wanted if I did not begin to write.Now that I know my abilities and where they can be put to their best,I know I am going the right way.
Even in the mock tests before Board Exams,I think I had the highest or second-highest score in Chemistry,I had always got highest or next to highest marks in Biology,I scored well in Physics,too but what I lacked in at least Biology was passion and I was not too drawn too Chemistry,it was just okay with me.
Physics,is a complex phenomenon to me.I loved the subject but I realised that both the passion and ability in Maths and Economics would have left the same attributes towards Physics subdued.May be I could have gone ahead but I would not have been anything extraordinary because what I lacked was this extreme passion,this indulgence,this love that I have towards what I am studying now.I was always drawn to Social Sciences as a child but I never realised this is what I was going to do,keeping far the taboos to be a medical practitioner or mechanical engineer.I am not a big fan of commercialisation,at all.And I did not want to give up either of my skills - that to write or speak.
Moreover, less students pass in Microeconomics at Harvard than in Medical Sciences.(This is the reason I said Physics is raved to be the toughest subject in High School and there are  streams that are at least equally tough,if not more in higher levels of study.)
The society in the world is nothing like the Indian mentality and I can explain it now that I study Economics and interact with people outside my country.There is a scarcity of job here and if you go ahead with Medical,there is no doubt you will not have to sit jobless.



At the end of 2014 to the beginning of 2015,it was even scarier because I do a lot of self study generally and I find that the best way to learn but I had to leave one of those classes and take an immediate substitution,which did not fully satisfy me.I was well satisfied with my Maths classes,though and I enjoyed and loved it and continue to do so.Anyhow,a week before my Board Exams began,the only person's words I had clutched at practically what was my hardest time in life simply bid me 'a farewell'! Hold on,can you imagine any person's condition after that?And I,the regular emotional fool,literally spent most of the night sleepless,with my face swollen from shedding tears.I did not know what to do,I did not know where I was standing,I did not know if I had been finished,if my hardwork for over two years was going to go in vain.I could not study a letter for two days and I avoided all the schedules possible and even the word called philosophy made my eyes water.I woke up at 03:00 a.m almost for four days and I tried reading a book of Bengali folktales and even that,which had no relation with anything in my life,would make me feel broken.And I could not understand exactly what to do,go around?literally talk?if to talk,then to whom? 


Captionsless! (The photograph is in context and for only those who know me personally)

I did not have any proof of who was it and I might have been unheard and then I realised the mistake I had done,I would have to keep quiet about all my misery and pain while the other side could laugh it out,proudly.I did not have enough time to console myself,I just said to myself that since I had worked hard,it had to pay back.And there could not have been anything that barred this from happening.I started studying after two days.It didn't stop here,our psychologically sick Physics teacher (the person with the B.E who teaches in a school for what reason I do not know) continuously confused me,told wrong answers,did not check my copy and made us wake up very early in the morning of the board exam (on the day of Science exam,i.e 3rd March,2015).
And then I agree,things were calmer.I huffed my sighs of relief finally on 28th May,2015,
when I received my Non-upgraded CGPA 10 Score.
And let me tell this truth,had The Perspectives not been there in my life,I would not have been able to do this.Every single bit of my adolescence from when I started this blog,every bit of my emotions,my thoughts,my feelings have been related to The Perspectives.It has shown me the way.I could never have decided that I could go off stream and not bother about weird expressions when they here a CGPA 10 scorer not studying Pure Science and studying some weird subject called 'E-co-no-mics' and aspiring to sit for the IAS (and that too ideologically?!).Gracious,someone explain her the need of money in life,the poor folk won't be able to sit for the Joint Entrance Examinations and her parents are doctors and what is she doing studying Maths and Economics?What does she want to do?How does she decide it?Was she afraid to study Science?Eew,dull subject combination.And what not.
But I agree that I have the guts,now that I do not look at the world realmed through a fish-eyed view through this tiny suburban area in South Dinajpur,West Bengal,India.I know the subject is valuable and more than that,I know that I love to do this and I must do what I love and love what I do and live through it,every while of it.
Today,The Perspectives has not received a million pageviews,not something even close to it but I don't mind.I wrote what I wished to,with all my immaturity until I started to evolve my ability to write from late 2014 to now.I have written for International Organisation For A Participatory Society (IOPS),requested and received articles from Lambert Meertens and Dallas based University of Houston alumni and renowned Eco-socialist activist Gary Stuard.I have had an amazing time with the IOPS team,I have learnt that not all Americans are inhuman capitalists and I have had some company as beautiful as that of Eugena's.I have written more than 150 articles,been followed by quite a number of established individuals on Twitter,including many established musicians and Discovery,National Geographic show host Brian Brushwood,The London Economic,it's Deputy Editor Joe Mellor,Tutor2You and similar educational organisations on Twitter.
I have loved solving sums and I still love doing it and have got a place as amazing as Brilliant to do it currently.I have received 50+ comments on the blog,20,000+ pageviews,197,000+ pageviews on my Google+,3,000+ Pageviews on The Perspectives Google+ page (which I have just recently started using),50+ followers on Google+,without ever advertising or making a single commercial post.I have received 24 followers on Tumblr without hardly ever opening it and only having an automatic way of posting the posts I make on Blogger,I have taken initiatives to spread the word of specific issues from organisations such as War on Want.There are 200+  people who follow The Perspectives on Twitter,200+ Plus Ones on Google Plus,250+ Likes on Facebook,and perhaps most importantly,100 countries in my readers list!
I sometimes confuse our identities - I think I am The Perspectives and The Perspectives is myself,there is little difference between us.Hope that helps in explaining a little bit of my feelings towards the blog.The Perspectives made me a thousand times stronger than I initially was,if not even more.The blog teaches me everyday,to live,to breathe,to love,to work and to write.
Love to all the readers who make me feel special without even knowing it,
Titas

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