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Saturday, January 14, 2017

All That Comes To Mind (27) : Why Do I Write What I Write?

Every time exams are close,ideas crowd my mind more than the number of people who crowd St Mark's Square in New Year's eve.And before I have the slightest realisation,they have turned into emotions of some kind that are usually suppressed.It might be an introvert,intuitive mind's attempt to defy laws imposed forcefully right from the subconscious.I don't know,really.But it happens.
And subsequently,all the sorrow that I perhaps can gather inside my petite stature is magnetically drawn to me,like a swarm of bees and I am half reluctant and half oh-so-eager to give in.It's complicated,as is every other delicate,minute thing to intuitive thinkers.
Now,that does not,somehow affect my ability to study.It's like,a test paper is over and I need a breezy ambiance around and before I know a thing,instead of air,all that I have around is an endless cloud of thoughts.It goes on conglomerating then until I literally 'do' something.Out of the constructive things,I end up compulsively writing (Like "someone takes me up by the collar and asks me to set him free in pen and paper" :P ) and when I'm done,for half a minute,I notice the statistics. * 268 people reading this NOW * *300K crossed * *Google+,1 million crossed * , * New follower.Channel presenter.* The only problem is nothing pleases me anymore.Nothing on earth pleases me.That is very helpful in case of being a productive human resource - in economic terms,an asset and not a liability.But as for you,as a person,you are a devastated soul thereafter.




I have 300 billion problems inside me.And more glass pieces and mirrors and kaleidoscopes than industries shall be able to count.I will not deny the possibility of the concept of infinite,either.But,but - I actually can sense that there are issues which are unsolvable.And that unfortunately,they are existent.That is not the case with the general population.There are certain problems I myself have with the population,such as :-
Firstly,in the twenty first century,people are running.Until that affects the certain important statistical counts in my life, that shouldn't be a concern but that is,because I am not a robot.People do not know why they are running but they are so exasperatingly doing things,completing things that slowing down often becomes synonymous to failure or boredom.This is why not even 10% of the population will not even think about introverts.And this gets them (introverts) all the more crazy to keep quiet. Well,most of the times,I really do not give a flying,freaking,flapping fuck to judgemental conclusions or comments,personally but several other sensitive people do,especially those who do not even understand why they are getting judged at the first place.
I rather am an old soul,of the kind who speak less and go on doing what they had been doing unless a catastrophe breaks in.
Secondly,the number of judgemental and observant people are far,far huge a count than intuitive and perceptional ones.This is a big problem.Had there been poets instead of administrators,logically speaking - this world would have been a much better place to live in.Had there been guitarists instead of politicians and painters in place of bureaucrats and travellers in place of soldiers,this world logically would have been a different place. (Sounds crazy,isn't crazy at all.)
Thirdly,"You are not supposed to 'complicate things further' in that manner.
Fourthly,"We have condoms and pipeguns and some 380 year old alcohol.Want some?"
Fifthly,"Had you studied some other ‘worthy’ disciplinary,you would have earned better."
Sixthly,"Don't talk.Hush!Keep that hole on your face shut before you're dead."

Seventhly,"They're just cutting a tree baby,stop bawling.We're going to go window shopping and build garages,okay?The car that takes us window shopping is so important,honey."
Eighthly,"Oh,Gaza Strip's far away,why don't you feel as sorry for the massive crises in neighbouring countries that happened two decades before you were born?"
Ninthly,"Be 'normal'.Be 'normal'.Don't cry for war victims.Don't just...cry.You were born with a beautiful smile.You won't get yourself acquainted and married and penetrated if you don't smile."
Tenthly, "Haven't you heard? It's a battle of words!",the poster bearer cried/"Listen son...",said the man with the gun,"...there is room for you inside."
Lastly,"Out of the way,it's a busy day,I've got things on my mind/For the price of tea and a slice,the old man died."
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4 comments:

  1. IF nothing pleases you anymore, then you were pleasing yourself perhaps to much ?

    To write as well as you do likely previously was a pleasure, yet even pleasures can tire us.

    Self finds it helpful to consider things I do as smaller separate groups.

    When recognize one is tiring, usually can set it aside for a while, while then concentrate on another, this helps reduce chance of being over-tired.

    BTW at times this not easy to do !

    From time to time, something postponed sneaks up to being suddenly more important, largely because have avoided dealing with it, then admonish myself when looking towards the mirror, demand I set aside time to complete the task.

    This encourages to address the problem, however may not make it seem any nicer :-(

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Writing has not just been about pleasure,like - ever.It has been more of a compulsion from the mind.When I feel like I do not understand if I need to jump from a seven storeyed building or swim across an ocean or insert my hand inside the mirror and touch my reflection,I understand it's time - I have to write or I don't know what. :P

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  2. This is the precise weblog for anybody who needs to seek out out about this topic. You notice so much its almost arduous to argue with you. You positively put a brand new spin on a subject that's been written about for years. Nice stuff, simply nice!

    ReplyDelete

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